The 'Green Knife' Project
by Dxdark
Summary: When Russian Nuclear missiles go missing, it is up to one group to get them back and stop a madman from using them in his schemes. Unfortunatly, that group is full of idiots
1. A Random Start

All we see is a dark room. There is nothing in it except for an electronic world map. Suddenly we hear a voice. 'It's insane! You'll kill us all! You'll destroy the world!' It sounds like an elderly England male voice.  
  
'Perhaps. But we will still rule the world' A Russian male voice says  
  
'But there will be no world to rule!!'  
  
'Anyway, are you in or are you out?'  
  
'Of bloody course I'm out!'  
  
'Well....you make me sad. But anyone who's knows but isn't involved must' The Russian didn't even have to finish his sentence. A gunshot filled the room and we here the body fall to the floor.  
  
'So...anyone else want out?' The Russian asks  
  
'Nein' a German male voice says  
  
'No' A Korean female voice repeats  
  
'See last answer' a cocky English man says  
  
'Good' The Russian says  
  
'Can you run over the plan once more?' The English man asks  
  
'Da. We will start our plan here' suddenly, the map springs into life and Asian Russia lights up. 'In Russia. From there we will storm numerous amounts of Nuclear Silos to prepare for another takeover. We shall then take European Russia, but that won't be easy. No, no, The Kremlin doesn't fall that easily so we just take the easy way out' A biological symbol appears over Moscow and then European Russia turns red. 'Now it gets tough. Now we have taken full control of Russia, the American's will panic once they see we have used nuclear missiles. They will ask for us to surrender. But that will not ever happen. In fact, we will strike first' A biological symbol appears over a place in Alaska. 'Then we simply take Alaska. We will then slowly take over North America until we get to the United States. We use biological weapons on New York, Washington D.C and possibly San Francisco. We then watch the world "superpower" surrender. Then we just take over the world simply with the world begging for mercy' The Russian ended his speech with an Agent Smith-like laugh. 'Were all in?'  
  
'Ja'  
  
'Of course'  
  
'Yep'  
  
'We should only encounter some resistance once we have taken all Russia....'  
  
'From the U.S' the English man concluded  
  
'No! From someone else'  
  
Everyone was listening. 'There is apparently some group that is better then the CIA, FBI, NSA (OOC: The security group, not the forum) and DSA put together. There headquarters are somewhere....'  
  
'Somewhere?? That's great help. Somewhere'  
  
'..In Australia'  
  
'That's a big help'  
  
'So, let it start. The Green Knife Project is underway!'   
  
meanwhile back in Australia, in a secret location  
  
Ali G: muahahaha I am the best god damn spammer around  
  
Proxy: you wish.....  
  
Ali G: muahahaha... But i am...  
  
Zel: I like trains starts jumping up and down everywhere  
  
proxy raises one eyebrow  
  
Neo: Stop it you three....  
  
ninja sneaks up behind them  
  
Ninja: Yes... stop it  
  
everyone jumps  
  
Ali G: Shit Paul, stop doing that, it's really annoying turns around, ninja is gone... I hate it when he does that too...  
  
Proxy: haha... Ali g is scared  
  
Zel: hehehehe I like trains starts jumping up and down  
  
Proxy: who fed her sugar.... gees.....?  
  
Is THIS the elite force that can stop the evil politicians???!  
  
DUH OF COURSE NOT...... idiots.....  
  
Or is it.....  
  
The room is full of happy spirit, when suddenly a dark silhouette appears out the door "Fe fi fo fum, I smell the scent of an English bun" "Mmm i never knew we had buns here" The newly introduced character, Boz slouches into a couch eating his bun.  
  
Neo talks to Ali G "I hate Boz, he's so feminine like. I mean, look at him!" "I know. I say we beat him to a pulp." "Ali G, you're very, very weak... I must do it" and with that Neo wanders over to the newly proclaimed 'couch of Boz.'  
  
"Boz I hate you"  
  
"I hate you too Neo" and with that a mighty brawl takes place. Boz grabs a pen, while Neo grabs a protractor and hacks into Boz. "NO! Evil. Vicious. Rusty. Metal!" Boz is now cowering on the floor, when suddenly he back flips and straightens "HAHA! Feel pen!"  
  
"Oh... Let's call it a truce" Neo offers  
  
"Fair enough"  
  
"No offence, but this is the fanfic ever. I mean it doesn't expand on the story, is very try hard funny and goes around in circles."  
  
"Oh, sorry I'll try and make it go somewhere, umm"  
  
A little man in blue clothes wanders in, obviously under the influence. "Yorsh Majesties, I come with letter... From this dude, or dudette. Can't quite remember, fligjick!" Neo picks up the letter and reads it aloud.  
  
To the Nintastic Office of Evil Affairs, I write to you now with the most fearful circumstances. His Majesties Secret Service has got wind of a terrorist plot unveiling under our very own eyes. It is known only as GKP. What these letters stand for is not known as yet, it's something of a mystery. Uncover its meaning and you'll be well on your way to the foiling the evil plan. I must go now, the Duke is calling. His Majesty, the Queen.  
  
"Does this mean I get to spam allot?" Ali G asks tentatively, "It means you can spam more than you imagine" Neo responds. "We must arm ourselves and train with Ninja first, while Mr. Books; DX tries to find some info out on this GKP"  
  
The group disperse out of their Nintastic HQ. Something to be marvelled at. Ninja is there waiting. "HEY! How did you get here so quickly?" Zel asks "Was it by train, was it? WAS IT!?"  
  
BACK IN THE 'OTHER' SECRET LOCATION(were not giving away much are we?)  
  
Everyone is in shock 'You had me scared for a second!' 'Idiot!' 'I thought these people were deadly!' 'Well, they are...' said the Russian 'Bullshit!' The English man said in the best Neo voice he could 'Well, anyway, lets go steal some frogs! No one will notice'  
  
BACK IN THE SECRERT LOCATION IN AUSTRALIA  
  
'Oh, c'mon!' Dx wined. 'Can't someone else find out some more info!?'  
  
'Like who? Zel?' Proxy asked  
  
'I like trains'  
  
'Oh, that's so unfair! C'mon! I only know most of this stuff by reading The Hunt for Red October!'  
  
Suddenly the news came on 'Tonight on National Nine News, Short Range Nuclear Silo's have been taken over by terrorists in Russia'  
  
BACK IN RUSSIA  
  
'Shit'  
  
FROGS are a nickname for Short Range Nuclear Missiles  
  
At the Nintastic HQ  
  
Ali G: Yay!!! W00t! I GET TO SPAM!!!!! Hey, Neo, can you write to the Queen and ask if I can become Sir Spam-a-lot?  
  
Neo: Ok...  
  
Ali G: HA!!! IN YOUR FACE PROXY!!!!  
  
Proxy: Does he ever shut up? ALI G, WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH CHANNEL NINE NEWS......CHANNEL NINE? SHIT! CAN'T YOU CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING ELSE? I MEAN, THIS STUFF IS SHITE!  
  
Boz: Eh, fine, is Channel 7 better?  
  
Proxy: Yes.  
  
"Tonight, on Channel 7 news, Short Range Nuclear Silo's have been taken over by terrorists in Russia"  
  
'No! Must...watch...Mr....Packer's......channel'  
  
Dx dives for the remote but Proxy throws it to Ali G and Dx lands on the floor  
  
'Ow'  
  
'Can we actually DO something? I mean, some terrorists are trying to nuke the world!' Neo said  
  
'How do we know there terrorists? Huh? That's just what the media says! Stupid Murdock' Dx said  
  
Everyone raises an eyebrow at Dx  
  
'What?'  
  
'Er...Anyway, shouldn't we go to Russia and see what's happening?' Neo asked  
  
'What, in Asian Russia? It's freezing over there! You'd...freeze! C'mon!' Dx whined  
  
'Neo's right. We should go to Russia' Prox agreed  
  
'Fine then. To Russia we go!'  
  
'That's my line!' Neo complained  
  
Dx looked at the script. 'Your right. Sorry, we'll do that again'  
  
'Ok' Neo said  
  
'Fine then' Dx repeated  
  
'To Russia we go!' Neo said 


	2. Airbourne

So, the Nintastic crew got on a plane to Russia, some in economy, some in the luggage hold. Oh, and one in first class. No prizes for guessing who's where.  
  
Proxy: Crap, its cold down here....I wonder if anyone has a jumper in their luggage....  
  
Meanwhile, in the First Class part of the cabin Stewardess: Would you like more champagne, Mr. G?  
  
Ali G: Yes please.  
  
In the Economy class part Boz: Where's Proxy?  
  
Neo: Meh, I dunno, I last saw him on the conveyer belt at check in....  
  
Zel: And where's Ali?  
  
Neo: The rich bugger's in First Class.....does evil eyes  
  
Waitress: um... excuse me... Mr Ali G?  
  
Ali G: Yes??  
  
Waitress: You have mail hands Ali G a letter  
  
Ali G: oh, k, thank you, must be sum1 important... How did it get on the plane....?  
  
Letter (doesn't talk): Dear Mr. G  
  
Your letter of knightly hood has been denied as the title 'Sir spam-a-lot has been taken by another individual, quite recently actually. But as a consolation, I knight you sir-most-productive-post-ness. Have a nice day The Queen  
  
Ali G: DAMMIT... bet it was Proxy.....  
  
meanwhile in 3rd Class  
  
Waitress: Excuse me.... Mr. Blue??  
  
Proxy: yeah?  
  
Waitress: You have a letter…  
  
Proxy: oh thanks....  
  
In the pilot's cabin...  
  
Dx is laughing, sitting back when the real pilot walks in  
  
'Oi! What are you doing?'  
  
'Er....look something shiny!'  
  
'OOOH! Where?'  
  
Dx takes the opportunity to rush back to his first class seat until..  
  
'Oi you're in my seat!'  
  
'Er....look over there! Something shiny!'  
  
'OOOH! Where?'  
  
Dx takes the opportunity to rush back to his economy class seat  
  
'Did you have any luck?' Neo asked  
  
'No'  
  
'Ladies and Gentlemen, one of our engines has been hit by a missile. Please form the brace position'  
  
Dx yelled, jumped out of his seat and ran up and down the isles screaming 'We're going to die!' When he got to the baggage part he saw proxy.  
  
'Hey prox, what are you doing down here?'  
  
'Bloody Ali G'  
  
'Oh...ok. Er...anyway, we're gonna crash'  
  
'Really? crap! How will I survive?'  
  
'Er.......gotta go!' and Dx ran off  
  
2 minutes later, the plane crashed into the ground. The whole plane was destroyed. Everyone was badly injured from the crash and baggage was everywhere. Suddenly, a bag that had been flung into 1st class burst open.  
  
'I'm ok!' Proxy yelled. 


End file.
